Substandards

I think I've finally gotten over it - the heartache, the puzzle, the bruised ego. I had dinner with my ex classmates, and he was one of those present.

He was my closest friend, my confidante, my biggest fan and my rock of support. At the same time, he was the biggest threat to my personality because I had to becareful not to overpower, overshine or overshadow him.

So many things had happened between the two of us. Many months after, I bumped into him, and I felt as if I bumped into a stranger. We said the customary 'hi, how are you? bla bla bla bla' but I felt like we had both changed so much that neither really knew who the other was anymore. It was like walking against a pasar malam crowd, and slowly drifting apart -walking towards separate directions.

When you've actually shared a certain bond with a person, anything less than that special bond seems like a substandard. When the connection is lost, it really feels as if there is no valid reason to care about a person as much anymore, because how do you do that without compromising your own position? How do you move on without dragging your past along?

I am finally able to care about him as I care about my other friends. That to me, is the new equilibrium. That to me, is triumphing my past. I'm finally able to say that I have truly moved on.